Favorite Shade of Jade
by Yourownanthem
Summary: Makoto reminsces about her old boyfriend. I don't own Sailor Moon. Everything Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Yeah.


Favorite Shade of Jade

"Uh-oh!" Minako giggled as she waved her hand in front of a dazed Makoto. Makoto looked away from the boy and turned her attention to Minako.

"Oh, was he attractive?" Rei smirked as she nudged a giggling Minako.

"Well—" Makoto began but Minako stopped her.

"Don't even bother. We already know what you are going to say." Minako looked at Usagi and Rei. The three of them then giggled and screamed, "He looks like your old boyfriend!"

"Yeah, yeah, you guys are so mean." Makoto sighed. Ami distracted the three giggling girls by scolding them about their upcoming tests while Makoto knew she had to leave or she might cry. "Well guys, I just remembered I have that interview I was telling you guys about. I gotta run! See ya!" Makoto waved and took off before any of them could respond. She hated lying to them, but she really needed to be alone. Once she started thinking about him, she couldn't stop.

Maybe it was because of his eyes, that carefree look in them that made her forget everything important. Or the way they hold you in place, as though they could see right through you.

Makoto blushed as if he were staring at her at that moment. She opened her door and sighed sadly as she closed it behind her. Her mind was going crazy as it began to remember everything about him.

She always loved his hair, his face, his smile, the way his eyebrows gave him away when he was confused, and his body—there weren't words to describe his body.

But his appearance wasn't everything, it was just a bonus.

She loved the way he would listen whenever she complained about her life ever since she had become a senshi.

His sense of humor was so strange it made her laugh until her eyes were watering. She loved that as well.

He always tried to make her blush so that she could understand how she made him feel.

She liked that whenever she realized she was rambling and apologize, how he would tell her that he liked hearing her talk because her voice was filled with so much emotion.

_He__was__always__so__corny._She smirked to herself as she started making tea for herself. In a daze, she grabbed a skillet and began preparing dinner.

He had such a big appetite. He loved it when she brought food when she visited him. He had said sometimes he didn't know how he had survived all that time without her cooking.

She grinned as she thought of his distaste for vegetables as she began chopping carrots. She remembered his state of shock whenever she told him how many vegetables were in his favorite dish that she had made him.

She stopped cutting the vegetables as she remembered that horrid day when she acted so stupid. He had said that he loved her. He also said he was okay if she didn't want to say it back or didn't feel that way. She loved him too, she just couldn't bring herself to say it back. So she did what she's done every time she's felt as if she couldn't handle a situation.

She ran away.

Tears filled Makoto's eyes as she thought of the memory she hated the most. Two weeks had passed since that time when she finally came back to him to apologize. She told him she loved him too, she had just been shocked and afraid of loving him. She remembered seeing how much he had changed.

Those cold, heartless eyes that met her gaze. His mouth was in a thin line, the boyish smirk had vanished. The eyebrows that gave him away showed no emotion. His body was tense. She felt such distance between them, it scared her more than loving him. When he spoke, half her instincts told her to run while the other half told her to fight. Evil flowed through every inch of him. Her Nephrite was gone. He had sold his soul.

Makoto let out a sob. She knew he had done it because of her. He was dead because she killed him. Twice too. As if the first time wasn't painful enough—although she wasn't aware it was him the second time.

The worst part was that she could never escape him. He always haunted her dreams, stopped her from doing something that she thought he might not like, and on top of that, she couldn't look at another guy with out finding something similar between the two.

The whistling of the teapot brought her back from her inner turmoil. She attempted at wiping her tears but gave up as she took the teapot off. She was about to pour herself the tea when she heard someone knocking at her door.

"Who is it?" She managed, though she sounded extremely weak.

"It's Ami." The meek voice on the other side stated.

"Oh hi Ami, I just got back from that interview and I'm not really decent right no—"

"Makoto, don't start with me, open the door." Ami said quietly, but firmly. Makoto sighed, she knew it was no use arguing with a determined Ami. Makoto opened the door as she tried to cover her tears. Ami sighed as she strolled into Makoto's apartment.

"Uh, I was watching a sad movie." Makoto lied lamely. "Did you want some tea? I was just starting dinner if you want so—" Makoto rambled as she began moving about.

"Makoto!" Ami yelled. Mako stepped back, shocked. "Listen, I just wanted to check on you. You ran off before we could say anything. Besides, we all knew—besides Usagi—that your interview was tomorrow. Makoto, its about him, isn't it? Your old boyfriend?" Makoto sighed, but didn't reply. "I understand how you feel, Makoto." Makoto looked up at her in confusion.

"How?" Makoto asked as fresh tears fell from her face.

"Because I have an old boyfriend as well." Ami laughed without mirth. "His name was Zoicite." They locked eyes and sighed. "Sometimes I," Ami sighed and looked away, blinking away her tears. "Sometimes I wonder if Serenity and Endymion's love was worth losing our loves for." She sighed quietly.

"Ha I wonder that everyday." Makoto sighed as she walked into the kitchen. Ami followed her and sat down at the table. "All I have to say is, why us?" Mako groaned as she poured two glasses of tea and handed one to Ami.

"I have to say I agree." Ami muttered before taking a sip. "You know I love that girl to death—"

"And I would do anything to protect her." Makoto added and Ami nodded.

"But it was their faults this happened. All of this. Our relationships," Ami took another sip as Makoto joined her at the table.

"The end of the Silver Millennium. Everything. I know what you're saying." Makoto sighed. "Ami?" The blue haired girl looked up. "Do you ever sense them?" She asked quietly.

"Yes." Ami breathed. "Especially at Mamoru's apartment. I thought I was the only one." Makoto nodded.

"Yeah, I've asked and he keeps denying, but I know the truth." Makoto muttered. "Damn prince. They are forever trapped with that stupid, thieving prince." Makoto sighed.

"I know, but we shouldn't be talking about our future King and Queen like this." Ami breathed deeply as she fiddled with her teacup. After a few minutes of silence, she looked at her friend. She was clutching the table with an iron grip as tears splattered the wood. Ami let a few of her own fall as she grabbed her friend's hand.

"I miss him so much Ami." Makoto whispered.

"I do too." Ami smiled sadly. "You know, everyday, I pretend he's there, in my room. And," She gave a shaky laugh before she continued. "whenever I stop studying, I have conversations with him." Makoto gave her a concerned look. "Oh, it's not out loud though, I would sound crazy. We talk about everything that went on in my day and then he tells me about his day too." Ami was crying as much as Makoto now, both of them yearning for their lost loves. Carrying the burden of guarding their princess and future queen, but they can't help but wonder what could have been.


End file.
